Cappuccino with Heath Ledger

Posted by Robyn Dormois in Stories - Uplifting on 5-7-14

Tessa was the type of girl who was everyone’s best friend. Cheerleader, straight ‘A’ student, member of the debate team: just a few of her accomplishments. Though she was popular and beautiful, she was no snob. Raised by her parents to be kind, peace-loving, environmentally conscious, she strove to make her goal in life to serve the less fortunate. And at her high school, that meant curbing the bullies as well as supporting the nerds, freaks, and outcasts (none of these words, by the way, being ones she would allow in her vocabulary). When the football team took it upon themselves to make the lives of two gay teens miserable, Tessa gently encouraged her boyfriend Lukas—football quarterback, homecoming king, swim team captain—to convince his friends to lay off. And while the two oppressed boys would not be sitting at the football players lunch table anytime soon, they once again found their existence at school taunt-free.
Tessa’s best friend was Tiffany. She served as cheer squad captain, taking pride in her straight B- average. When they were eight, they had met and played on the same softball team. While Tessa was outgoing and cheerful, Tiffany was outspoken, bold and crazy, but only in the best way, of course. She often convinced Tessa to do things she would never normally have considered doing. Like the time they persuaded the football team to go skinny dipping in the river at midnight and, while they were in the water, stole their clothes. The one and only time Tessa shoplifted anything was when Tiffany dared her to steal a lipstick when they were twelve. The friends had made a clean get away, but Tessa, overwhelmed with guilt, confessed to her parents that night. Although she never mentioned Tiffany’s name, her parents had a sneaking suspicion what or who had nudged their daughter into a life of crime. They were forgiving, however, allowing Tessa her best friend, trusting her moral fortitude would sustain her.
Everyone called them TNT.
Tessa and Lukas had been together for two years, ever since football homecoming freshman year when Tessa had cornered him after the game outside the locker room and planted a kiss on him. A scheme with Tiffany’s scent all over it. She had convinced her friend that if Tessa didn’t make the first move, Lukas never would, which in the light of the boy’s shyness, was surely a fact. Despite his athletic prowess, his expertise with the ladies was somewhat lacking. He was an excellent kisser, however, and once the ice was broken, reciprocated with abandon. As Tessa and Lukas got acquainted, she found him to be a smart, funny and very thoughtful boyfriend. Tiffany, of course, took all the credit for their union.
Tessa’s parents were her role models. Henry and Jessica Montgomery were responsible for the kind, intelligent, creative person Tessa had become and she was happy to give them all the glory. Her father worked in advertising out of their home the majority of the time. Her mother had gone to journalism school, yet chose to stay home until Tessa started school, at which time she took a part-time position at the local library. She arranged her schedule to make sure she was free the minute her little one got out of school. Jessica started her career as professional mom the year Tessa was in kindergarten. She became room mother, soccer mom, ultimate party planner and member of the PTA. As soon as she was old enough, Jessica enrolled her daughter in soccer, dance lessons, music lessons and T-ball. The two were a very busy pair until Tessa reached the age of nine, when she decided to have a sit down with her folks.
“Mom, Dad,” she started, using her most diplomatic tone. “I’ve decided that, although I love being involved in sports and all the lessons, I feel I need to step back and focus on the things I care the most about.”
As always, Henry and Jessica were mesmerized by their daughter’s maturity and articulate nature, as well as curious as to her impending proposition. They listened with open minds.
“I’d like to drop the soccer and the softball, and even the dance, for now. I want to keep up with my piano lessons and I’d like start taking art classes.”
Realizing that Tessa was unusually self-aware for a nine year old, and not wanting to be the typical parents who overwhelm their child with activities, they gave in and let her have what she wanted, registering her in an art class the very next week. Once in high school, she took up softball again and resumed her dance lessons to aid in her cheerleading endeavors.
In addition to lessons and classes, Tessa’s time was dominated by reading. She had become an avid reader at an early age and with her mom working at the library, had found ample resources in that magical building. When their Saturday mornings were spent at the library, it was very nearly a religious experience. Tessa spent hours joyfully among the stacks. She immersed herself in countless worlds – whether of fantasy, romance, mystery or levity, she loved them all. She could leave her comfortable, safe little world for a time and spend her afternoon lost between the covers of a good book.
All in all, Tessa’s world was nearly as perfect as a child’s could be.
It was a peaceful, sunny spring day when Tessa’s ideal existence came to a crashing halt. With the screech of tires and the twist of steel, her world was plunged into darkness. Her life would never be the same.
It was unusually hot for a mid-April afternoon, when Tiffany and Tessa decided to take advantage of the weather and initiate the Montgomery’s pool for the season. Mr. Montgomery had just had it cleaned and the warm spring sun sparkled off the blue water. Both girls were lying on air mattresses in the middle of the pool when Tessa’s phone rang. The balmy temperatures were making TNT lazy.
“Let it go to voice mail,” urged Tiffany.
Tessa checked her phone. “No, it’s my dad. They’re suppose to be here with pizza soon,”
“Dad, where are you? Tiff and I are starving. What? Wha….. Where are you?”
Tiffany detected the change in her friend’s tone and, turning to look at her, saw Tessa’s features were frozen, her pallor, ashen. “Tess, what is it, what happened?”
Tessa didn’t move, but stared straight ahead, “They’ve been in an accident.”
Tiffany jumped from her mattress into the pool and into action. Ten minutes later, they were speeding to the hospital in Tiffany’s car. When they reached the emergency room, they found Mr. Montgomery in his room. He lay in a bed, his eyes closed as they approached. Tessa could see his right arm was swollen and turning black and blue. Tiny red spots dotted the right side of his face. Tessa touched his good shoulder, “Dad?”
He turned his head and opened his eyes. Tessa noticed the shiner growing under his left eye. “Tessa…” he whispered.
Tessa was jolted back to life by the single utterance and the tears began to flow. “Oh, God, Daddy! Are you okay? Where’s Mom? What happened?”
“I’m okay, honey, calm down.” His words were slurred as if he were drunk. “I look worse than I am, the air bag got me.” He attempted a smile. “Your mother’s in surgery.” His eyes began to droop. Tiffany went out to the hall to flag down help.
“Surgery? Daddy what happened?” Tessa was on the verge of panic when Tiffany returned with the nurse.
“Your Dad is on pain killers, hon. Let’s go out into the hall where we can talk and leave him to rest.”
The nurse explained to Tessa that another driver had run a stop sign, slamming into the passenger side of her parent’s car. While her father’s injuries were superficial, her mother’s were more serious. The doctors were doing everything they could. To Tessa’s ears the words didn’t ring true.
“What does that mean? They can’t do anything, is what you’re saying? Where is my mom, I want to see my mom!” On some level, Tessa knew she was being unreasonable, but she couldn’t seem to control her voice, or her emotions.
“Now, honey, calm down,” the nurse laid her hand on Tessa’s arm but she yanked it free, answering through gritted teeth, “Don’t tell me to calm down.”
Tiffany took charge, firmly gripping both of Tessa’s arms. “Tess,” she nearly shouted, “Look at me.”
Tessa slowly raised her eyes to meet Tiffany’s gaze. Her tone softened, “Okay, sweetie, breathe. You need to listen to me. Your dad needs you right now and you don’t know your mom isn’t going to be okay. Let the doctors do what they have to do and go sit with your dad. Okay?”
Tessa blinked, realizing how close she had come to true hysteria.”Okay.” She peered at the nurse, thoroughly embarrassed. “Sorry.”
“No worries, honey. Let’s go see how your daddy’s doing.”
“Wait! I have to call Grandma, and Suzy and Aunt Rita.” Panic rose in her voice.
Tiffany could see how close her friend was to losing it again. “Give me your phone, I’ll make the calls.”
Handing over her phone, Tessa gave Tiffany a look that was filled with gratitude, before she turned and headed into her father’s room.
After all the phone calls to Tessa’s family, plus one to her own mother, Tiffany checked her watch: 7:30. The gnawing in her stomach reminded her that they had missed dinner. But when she peeked into Mr. Montgomery’s hospital room, she saw her friend, exhausted, sleeping with her head on her arm, resting on the edge of his bed. Tiffany tiptoed into the room and took the only other chair. It was going to be a long night.
It was less than an hour later when the doctor entered the room with the news. They had done all they could but Mrs. Montgomery hadn’t made it.

The next few weeks were a fog of questions, arrangements and good intentions. Tessa wished she could have slept through all of it. Fortunately, her grandmother came to stay with them for a while. She was a whirlwind of organization and competency. Although she had lost her daughter, she seemed to cope best when she kept busy. She took care of paying bills, making funeral arrangements, and talking to Tessa’s principal. But, mostly she was adept at holding Tessa’s hand, comforting her granddaughter whenever she needed it. All the while Tessa watched as her father drifted further and further away. She realized he blamed himself for the accident, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. Tessa understood he had lost his wife, but her mother was gone, now she felt as if she were losing her father, as well.
Her grandma’s departure was inevitable, however, and when she was gone, Tiffany took over. She became Tessa’s rock. Tiffany escorted her best friend down the halls on her first day back at school, deflecting all questions and comments. She was there whenever Tessa needed her, day or night, practically moving into the Montgomery house.
The girls were studying one night, or rather, Tessa was attempting to study while Tiffany lay on the bed, ear buds in place, rocking to a silent tune, when Tessa bounced off the bed and began to pace.
Tiffany pulled the buds from her ears. “What’s up Tess?” she asked, trying not to sound alarmed. She was learning when to panic and when it was best to keep the atmosphere calm.
“What is wrong with him?”
“Who?”
“Lukas, that’s who! My mom died a month ago and I’ve hardly heard from him since!”
“He went to the funeral, and he calls all the time.”
“Phone calls, that’s not what I need. He should be here!” Tiffany could hear the tremor in her friend’s voice. Tessa looked exhausted. Tiffany was certain she hadn’t gotten a decent night’s sleep since the doctor had dropped the bomb.
“You have to give him a break, Tess. He’s a guy and not only that, a sixteen year old guy. They don’t always know how to handle things like this well.”
“I’m not a thing.” Tessa’s words had lost their sting, sounding small.
“You know what I mean. Messy, emotional things.”
“Well, I don’t need him to handle anything, I just need him here.” Tessa’s eyes sparkled with tears.
Tiffany spread her arms wide and motioned for her friend to come to her. Tessa crawled onto the bed, curling up next to Tiffany with a deep sigh. As she enveloped Tessa in her arms, both girls felt a sense of comfort they recognized could come from no other source.
Tiffany heard Tessa’s rhythmic breathing a few minutes later, and knew she had drifted off. She picked up her phone and dialed her mom, whispering, “Mom, I’m gonna stay with Tess tonight.”
“Is she alright?”
“Yeah, she’s okay, just needing some girl time. And Mom?”
“Yes, dear?”
“I love you.”

It was mid-July and the cheer squad was gathered around Tiffany’s dining table, eating pizza and planning their annual trip to cheerleading camp. Tessa had muddled through the end of her junior year, showing little enthusiasm for her school work, never the less pulling out a solid B+ average. She had dropped the debate team and quit softball, claiming exhaustion the majority of the time. Her relationship with Lukas had disintegrated shortly after her outburst to Tiffany in her bedroom. Less than broken-hearted, she felt it was for the best.
All the girls seemed to be talking at once as they hammered out the details of transportation, fundraising, and lodging. All but Tessa, who sat quietly in her usual daze. When the girls had left and Tiffany was cleaning up, Tessa finally spoke up, “I don’t think I want to do cheer squad this year.” She refused to make eye contact.
Tiffany halted in mid-step and turned toward Tessa, “What?”
“I’m sorry, Tiff, I just don’t feel it anymore.”
Tiffany dumped paper plates into the garbage and came to sit next to her friend. “Listen, sweetie. I know you’re feeling bad, you have no energy or enthusiasm. I think you’re depressed. And you have every right to be. But I think it’s time to do something about it. Talk to someone.”
“Who am going to talk to, Tiff? My mom is dead, my dad’s a zombie, my grandma’s gone! I’ve cried on your shoulder all that I’m going to.”
“I was thinking more along the lines of someone professional. Do you think you can do that?”
“No.” Her reply was unequivocal.
“Okay. Tell you what. You go to cheer camp with us, four days, beautiful mountain lodge, just the girls. And if you still think you want to quit, then I won’t stand in your way.” Tessa opened her mouth to speak but Tiffany held up her one finger, “Wait, I feel a lecture coming on, so you have to listen first. I love you, Tess. You are my best friend in the world and I hate seeing what this is doing to you. I mean I get it, but I hate it. You are a fighter. You are the strongest person I know. You protect the weaklings from the bullies for goodness sake! Now you have to fight for yourself. This is our senior year, and I know it isn’t the same without your mom to share it with you, but you have to fight to make it the best! Will you do that, Tess, for me?”
If only she hadn’t added the “for me” part, it would have been easy for Tessa to reject the proposition. As it was, her heart swelled and her eyes welled as she nodded enthusiastically. “Okay, Tiff. Cheer camp for you.” The two friends embraced and Tessa felt for the first time in months that she had something to look forward to.
As it turned out, it was the best decision she could have made. Cheer camp, held at a lodge in the Sierra Nevada mountains of Northern California, was just what Tessa needed. Time on the mountain top with friends and nothing to do but practice all day and watch movies and chat all night gave her a sense of renewal she couldn’t have gotten anywhere else.
The beginning of the new school year brought new challenges. Every exciting event was tinged with sadness because her mom wasn’t there to share it with her. Tessa chose not to rejoin the debate team but decided on year book staff instead. It was a more solitary venture, plus she didn’t have to argue with anyone or think too much. She bought a new camera, discovering a joy and talent for photography she hadn’t known she possessed.
As she strolled the halls one day she witnessed one of the jocks slam into a new kid, that it was intentional was obvious. The boy’s books and papers went flying. “Hey, Cameron!”
Tessa bellowed. “Get back here!”
Cameron slinked back, looking contrite.
“Now help him pick up his stuff,” Tessa commanded.
Cameron helped the kid, reluctantly, muttering sorry as he did so.
She was certain Cameron’s easy compliance had to do with the fact that everyone was treating her with kid gloves these days, which generally drove her crazy. Today, though, it seemed a bonus, and if that’s why Cameron was so cooperative, she would accept it without question.
When Cameron had gone, Tessa gave her own apology, “Sorry about that, he’s really not a bad guy.”
“Yeah, I could tell,” his reply dripped with sarcasm. “And thanks, but I don’t need your help. I can take care of myself.”
Tessa smiled as he walked away. I’m sure you can, she thought to herself. Tessa felt suddenly empowered. She remembered how happy helping others, even ungrateful others, had made her. It was the way her mother had raised her, and in this way, Tessa realized she was honoring her mom.
The remainder of her senior year flew by fairly uneventfully. She wasn’t homecoming queen or head of any committees or clubs. She threw herself into cheerleading and photography, taking a class at the local community college. She applied to universities, wondering what her future would bring, all the while wishing her mother was there to advise her and revel in her successes.
As the anniversary of her mother’s death approached, Tessa found herself becoming increasingly anxious. Not only for herself but for her father, who still wallowed in his grief, only leaving his study to shower and eat. He had lost a great deal of weight and his hair was turning gray. It broke Tessa’s heart to see him this way. She could come to the aid of all the unfortunates at her school, but she couldn’t seem to do anything for her own father. She felt helpless.
Finally, Tessa decided to call in the big guns. She phoned her grandma. The conversation was brief: “Grandma, I think we need to organize an intervention.” And that’s exactly what they did.
Tessa’s grandmother got the name of a therapist in town, a Dr. Brennen, and came over one night, ostensibly for dinner. Tessa managed to pry Mr. Montgomery out of his office and install him begrudgingly at the kitchen table. For over an hour they worked on him, telling them how much they loved him and how his behavior was affecting Tessa. Tessa poured out her heart to her father, explaining that her mother would be heartbroken to see him like this. In the end, he agreed to see the therapist and Tessa set up an appointment. She went with him for his first meeting and they both talked to her together. The doctor explained that it would not be an easy road. She laid out her plan and Tessa’s and her father’s responsibilities.
The therapist had spoken the truth. Henry had semi-weekly sessions and Tessa joined him every other week for family therapy. He seemed to be making steady improvement over the first few weeks, then he suffered a setback, hiding in his office and refusing to attend his appointment. Tessa worked tirelessly with the doctor, eventually getting her father to agree to attend his sessions once more. He didn’t like his anti-depression meds, refusing to take them. Tessa begged and cajoled and had the prescription altered. After about two months things seemed to smooth out. They had made it past the dreaded anniversary, with the exception of the accident, probably the hardest time in both their lives. Mr. Montgomery appeared to be doing quite well. He began paying the bills again—Tessa had done it since her grandmother’s initial departure—and actually found joy in cooking the evening meal, a task he had taken pleasure in before the accident. Her father began to renew his friendships, over the phone at first, and even revived his friendly teasing of Tiffany when she joined them for dinner.
“It’s good to have you back, Mr. M.” Tiffany announced one night at dinner.
Tessa flinched at the brazen remark, but relaxed when her father responded, “It’s really good to be back, Tiffany.”
But the challenges were not over. As the end of the school year approached, so did Tessa’s graduation ceremony, and though Mr. Montgomery had made great strides in therapy, he still rarely ventured out of the house. When Tessa filled him in on the details of the ceremony, his face lost its color. Tessa’s reaction was gentle, yet reluctant, “You don’t have to go, Dad. Grandma and Aunt Rita will be there.”
“No, don’t be silly! You only have one high school graduation and your father is going to be there to cheer you on.”
In the end, he did attend, sandwiched between Tessa’s grandma and her aunt, with a bouquet of balloons in his hand and a huge smile on his face.
The whole evening was bittersweet for Tessa. Graduating high school and entering the real world was every teenager’s most vivid dream. Tessa was no different in that respect. And, even though the ceremony and the after party were a blast, the one person who was chiefly responsible for this vast accomplishment was the one person who couldn’t be with her that night.
So Tessa did what she knew she had to. She drank in the moment, enjoying every second. When she arrived home early the next morning, she crawled into bed, exhausted, and wept.
The summer was hot and lazy. TNT spent many a long afternoon lounging by the pool, soaking up the sun and enjoying their last bit of freedom before college. Tessa had been accepted to several California universities. She had chosen one less than an hour from home. She would reside in the dorms during the week, but come home on the weekends to be with her dad. He was making immense progress in his therapy, actually going into the office a couple of days a week to work. Tessa had gained so much from their therapy sessions that she was considering majoring in psych. She knew she would have a mentor in Dr. Brennen. She also wanted to pursue her new found love of photography and the arts.
The day Tessa was to leave for college was sweltering, a light breeze giving only partial relief. It was mid-August and TNT sat on Tessa’s front porch steps. Tiffany had chosen to stay home and attend the community college in town until she had decided what she wanted to do with her life. She had met a boy who was also going to school there, and lately it seemed the only thing she could talk about. Tessa didn’t mind, of course. She loved seeing her best friend so happy, especially after all Tiffany had done for her. They were sitting quietly for a long while, enjoying each other’s company, when Tiffany finally broke the silence.
“So, when do you leave?” she asked, twirling her dark hair around her finger.
“Dad and I are going to have lunch together, then I’ll leave around one, I guess.”
“How is he doing with all this?”
“Well, I don’t think it’s easy for him, but he’s a trooper. And he knows I’ll be home next weekend. We’ll Skype, we’ll talk, and there’s always Facebook.” Tessa stifled a laugh, she couldn’t believe her father had actually opened a Facebook account.
Both girls were silent for a moment then Tessa asked, rather out of the blue, “Where do you think people go when they die?”
Tiffany took a moment of serious consideration before replying, “When my grandma died, I figured she went to heaven. But your mom? The whole halo, wings, floating on a cloud thing doesn’t quite seem to fit. Maybe there’s a big coffee house out there where you can go and hang with the people you knew. Or even dead celebrities, share a cappuccino with Heath Ledger.”
Tessa’s face lit up. “I like that idea. I vote for that one!”
Tiffany took her best friend’s hand, lacing her fingers through Tessa’s. “I know you won’t be far, but things won’t ever be the same, ya know?” She laid her head on Tessa’s shoulder.
“I know,” Tessa responded, lying her own head on Tiffany’s. “But we will always be friends. Hell, you’re the one who taught me what being a friend really means.”
Tiffany released a long, loud sigh. “I have to go, have that job interview at eleven.” She stood then and held out her hand to Tessa, pulling her to her feet as she had done, literally and figuratively, so many times in the last year and a half. The two friends embraced, and Tiffany turned, ambling slowly down the walk. As she sauntered toward her car she suddenly spun around, pointing at her friend, one eye closed in an outrageous wink, and shouted, “Don’t change a hair for me…”
Tessa reciprocated with, “Not if you care for me!” Both girls giggled at their own dorkiness. Then Tiffany disappeared into her car and was gone.
Tessa climbed slowly up the porch steps, wiping the tears from her face. “Big day,” she smiled to herself. “Big day.”

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