The Rays of a Single Joy
Posted by J. J. Deur in Poems - True Love on 27-7-12
As in a confession – the whole day on my knees
not talking to the priest, but cutting the lumber for
the basement ceiling –
making a wooden bed/frame for the sheets of the sheetrock
which will hang in the air as an outstretched white
blanket in the pool of the fluorescent flickering lights,
becoming the long and wide, perfectly flat, basement ceiling;
and staying there, looking down from this moment on to, maybe,
one hundred years away?
My 2-year old grandson exchanges his toy-saw
for my real hand-saw and “cuts” the door frame
out of an early trade’s curiosity – while the
sun’s ray sneaks into the basement behind our backs,
and like a flash light follows his hand.
A borrowed voice in me hums through the clicks of
the finished nails: Be joyful … be joyful … immerse the moment!
My back aches in the constant circle of the pain,
as a forgetful bird trying to locate her misplaced nest.
My grandson’s attitude is bent on learning the
carpenter’s trade before his ABC – “zeem-zooom” the hand saw
sings faintly in his left hand …
My head swims in the purple pride watching him,
while he flourishes our mutual moment speaking in his “Chinese”.
An adventurous “zoom” off the passing car flew in
through the open, brand new Hopper window,
my grandson reacts to it with his quick verbal impression: “Auto!”
I side-step his working corner with a deep smile,
making some room for my eyes’ current of happiness;
forgetting my deep-seeded, always angry, back pain,
for the whole duration of my grandson’s presence.
Founder of… Bill Ray
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About the Contributor:
J. J. Deur was born to Croatian farmers in village Stankovci, in Dalmatia region. As a child he listened to his mother, Cvita, tell the real stories about the real events in the village, very often, reminiscing about her own young life as a country girl. His mother was his first “open book” even before than he learned how to read and write. His father, Andrija, (‘Jadre’) was a workaholic, introverted person, who would be rather thinking instead of talking. He, also, was a disciplinarian using his piercing eyes instead of the whip. When J.J. was fourteen, his father sent him to Franciscan seminary in Sinj, hoping that one day his son would make him proud by becoming a priest. Due to J.J’s constant mood shifts, and restlessness he was always in some sort of conflict with his superiors and other seminarians. While in seminary, the Franciscans recognized his writing ability and published his first poem. After, almost four years in there he was expelled for the lock of calling needed to become a priest. After finishing high school, he studied languages/literature at the Zadar Philosophy (-ical) University for two years. Then, due to the circumstances, and still fighting his chronic mood swings he left for the USA, New York. While starting there all over, working on all sorts of the jobs; he eventually got BA degree in Journalism and Creative writing from Baruch College, CUNY; raised the family and decided, all along, to continue writing, as a refreshing mental outlet fusing it with the obligations of the everyday life. He wrote a column for the New York newspapers: Bay News and Newsday. He is the author of the books of the short stories (in Croatian): “Tales from America”, “Reflection in the Curious Eye”, and “Along the Way with the Accidental Others”. He also published two books of poetry: “Open Windows” and “Behind the Sun’s Curtain”. He has been publishing in the print and on-line literary magazines. He still hopes somebody might really (!) notice him.
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